Hey...

...it's been a while.

Life, such as it is, has kept me away for a bit. I needed a break from everything. I'm still regaining my energy, but I'm dipping my toes back in, and it's with photos and snippets. It's a way to start again.

I was tired. And honestly, pretty depressed. I wasn't doing subway sketches. I wasn't writing. I wasn't hitting the beach. Everything just felt so big. In June, I was still recovering from a severe chest cold while at the same time moving out of my studio and bringing it into my apartment. It wiped me out. Sometimes it gets really hard doing it all by yourself, and at the same time, asking others can take energy that I just don't have sometimes.

So, in the last two months, the only thing I managed to do other than moving my art studio is hitting the marches. I needed to do so because otherwise I'd sink really deep. Honestly, our world is fucked right now, and it feels like I'm experiencing every single bit of its pain from it’s cruelty and lack of empathy. C'est la vie - c'est ma vie.

I let myself sink, trusting that I'd come out of it in my own time.

Little by little, I was coming back to myself. A museum trip was a pivotal experience. I hope to write about that soon.

With that, I returned to cooking, slowly journaling again, feeling my creative spark return, hitting the beach, and this week, began doing my subway sketches.

So, for this entry, I decided to just share some photos. In these last few months, I've learned that giving myself the grace to just be okay and not fear the space I am, albeit dark, trusting myself, and ignoring the advice of the mainstream "shoulds" is the best medicine for me. It wasn't fun, but it was the right thing. We are living in a world that is crumbling around us. We have to take care of ourselves, however that looks for each of us. We don't live in a one-size-fits-all world. We never did but liked to pretend - hence all the self-help books. I'm not going to tell you how to take care of yourself in these times. I'll just say please tend to you, whatever that means and looks like for you.

And now, some photos:

I prefer the beach in the late afternoon and evening. Fewer people and prettier skies.

This brings daily joy as I wait for the bus at Ocean Ave & Foster. Last year, a tenant in this building used her own funds to plant a garden on the corner in front of her building. This year, it’s bursting in blooms, and especially lots and lots of sunflowers wrapping both sides of the building. I’ve spoken with her a few times as I waited for the bus and even had to donate to her amazing endeavor.

It felt so good to finally have the energy to make this simple salad. A large bowl will last all week. Super healthy - quinoa, red peppers, black beans, corn, scallions, and cilantro tossed with a dressing of oil, vinegar, fresh squeezed limes, & oregano. And it’s colorful. Also, it’s perfect to take to the beach.

Today’s subway sketch. They are still clumsy because I’m out of practice.

And while at the Met a few weeks ago, I saw her. She was sitting in front of a painting, sketching it, then getting up, going to the next, and starting again. She did it for every painting in the room. This moment left me enchanted because of the color.